Respond with a little humor, without getting snide. If you respond to the heat of the moment, chances are you will be portraying yourself in the wrong light and create a horrible impression of yourself. Ask a follow-up question (really) It’s not fishing for compliments; it’s asking for more information. Copyright © 2020 Harvard Business School Publishing. Even if a little voice in your head says, “I don’t deserve it,” or, “He doesn’t mean it,” ignore your doubt. One of the main reasons people don’t know how to respond to a compliment is that they feel it’s undeserved. Givers express worries of being seen as a kiss-up, having their compliment misinterpreted, or triggering jealousy in others. However, when your boss commends you for pulling an extra shift, turning in all of your work in advance of a deadline, or stepping up in some other way, you probably often reply that “It’s nothing.” If you want to give a powerful compliment, give the person a window into what you experienced and how it impacted you or others. 1 thing you should do when you receive a compliment or "thank you" from your boss is thank that person for acknowledging your hard work. How to respond to a compliment? If your boss wrote you an email, send him or her one back, acknowledging the time they took to share their appreciation of you and mentioning how glad you are to work with your current company. When you wonder how to respond to compliments, remember that they are sharing something sincere and thoughtful, even if it’s spur of the moment (wow, you look gorgeous!). “Respond with acknowledgment of the praise, and a follow-up question to better understand it,” says Ayoub. They will be delighted to hear that you enjoyed the performance. Some notes are quite simple ("You did x very well. Remember that a compliment is often more about the giver than the receiver. Provide documentation when your salary review comes due. Here are suggestions for accepting compliments on your work: Say “thanks.” Begin your response by saying “thank you.” And sound like you mean it. But your support is the reason why I look forward to work every day. Do not take up much time doing this. When you a boss delivers praise or offers an award to you, it can be overwhelming and even embarrassing. When you devalue a compliment, you can send the message that you have a low self-esteem, aren’t confident in your work or don’t respect the opinion of … Most managers have no problem with this. It is not ethical to use the email you received to boast to your co-workers. When we are clear with our compliments, the person understands exactly what we are expressing and why. It will also make you look like a calm and composed person. When to use it: A co-worker who says, "Congratulations on that promotion. In reality though, women often struggle with how to graciously accept a compliment while not coming across as vain, overly confident, or stuck-up. When you acknowledge your boss' praise, ask what you can do even better. See more from Ascend here. So, they’ll thank the person for the compliment but at the same time say […] Below are some of the best ways to respond to a compliment: “Thank you. When responding to a compliment, make eye contact, smile, and use open gestures to reinforce your message. Don’t deny the compliment, argue its legitimacy, or insult the other person by implying you don’t deserve the credit. To be better at giving compliments, it’s also important to become better at receiving them. We all hope to continue this service for a long time. How to Reply to a Boss's Accolades. The best way to express interest without breaking social rules is to maintain eye contact when responding to a compliment. I will share your feedback in our next meeting.”. The No. The presentation was truly a group effort involving dozens of students. This initiative may further impress your boss and lets her know that you are serious about your career at the company. When you have an opportunity to thank your boss for her investment in your success, do so. Most people don’t realize compliments are often more about the giver than the receiver. She could respond one of two ways: with “Thank you!” or with “Eh, it was no big deal.” Obviously you’re picturing her saying thanks and then maybe even shaking a few hands. Business etiquette is as important as any other office skill. No one enjoys learning their boss isn't pleased with their work and having that information in writing to live indefinitely in your employment file, makes it so much worse. This shows that you appreciate the effort they’ve made to make you feel good. Don’t compliment the person to butter them up before making a request, soften the blow before giving difficult feedback, or to try and cheer them up after a mistake. Copyright 2021 Leaf Group Ltd. / Leaf Group Media, All Rights Reserved. If you find yourself diverting the person’s compliment by passing the credit, making a joke, or awkwardly explaining why you don’t deserve it, recover the situation by saying: “I am working on getting better at accepting a compliment. Accept and respond to the compliment the first time you hear it – don’t ask for a repeat performance. Records of compliments and praise from supervisors are essential at performance review time. Ask your employer whether you can print out the complimentary email for your personnel file. To be concise, I'm not used to emails like these and I don't know how to (or if I should) respond to them in a professional matter. If you receive a word of thanks, it is because you have done a job that is worthy of recognition. How to Accept a Compliment: 4 Ways To Respond Graciously 1. Thanks boss. Your boss wants to see you stand up … When recognizing someone, show them that you appreciate the time, sacrifice, creativity, or care that went into their work. As with giving feedback or instructions, when you compliment someone, you want to share it in a way that does not leave the person with any questions. Focus on the Process, Not Just the Result. Whether you are a manager or an individual contributor, giving and receiving compliments plays a critical role in building and maintaining relationships at work. 1 thing you should do when you receive a compliment or "thank you" from your boss is thank that person for acknowledging your hard work. The No. When done well, a compliment is one of the most powerful ways to let someone know that we value and appreciate them. Aanya Rose has been writing since 1998. Reply to appreciation mail by expressing how much you like working for the company and expressing that you attribute your accomplishments to your boss’ guidance and support. A weekly newsletter to help young professionals find their place in the working world and realize their personal and career goals. (i.e. Thank you.”, “Phil, I am blown away by the event you put together for the client. You can begin to practice immediately. Compliments that only focus on the result often trigger a concern for the receiver of not being able to produce the same result in the future. Whether you’re a manager or a team member, giving and receiving compliments plays a major part in forming workplace relationships. Top managers are often some of the most underappreciated people at a company. The next time you feel compelled to give a compliment, before you share, pause for a minute and answer the following questions. Do not ignore your note of gratitude. I am sure they will be delighted to hear what you have to say. It's always nice to say "thank you" face-to-face even though you received the compliment via email. For those who have been struck by impostor syndrome, the phrase “thank you” is almost always followed by the word “but.” Thank you, but it really wasn’t that big of a deal. Vague compliment: “Thanks for taking notes in the meeting, you’re amazing!”, Specific compliment: “John, I know it is your job to take notes in the meeting, but because you do it so well, I know I can relax and focus on doing my job. My question for you is, how do you respond to a co-worker (sometimes a supervisor) telling you they’ve heard great comments/feedback about your work? Here are a few ways to respond to a compliment: If the person compliments you for another person’s work, redirect the compliment to the correct person: If someone compliments you for something that was a team effort, share the appreciation: If you are the team leader, note the person may be recognizing you for your role in leading your people, so be sure to first take the compliment, and then acknowledge the efforts of your team. It does not matter if you agree or disagree with what they are saying, just relate to it as a gift and accept it. I will convey your compliment to the entire committee. I will share your feedback when I see him today.”, “Thank you for noticing, it is really great to hear that. “Thank you for saying that,” or “Thanks for your comment about the (specific topic)!” Praise, apologies, or anything with an emotional charge can start an awkward cycle of back-and-forth between work colleagues. What to Do When Praise Makes You Uncomfortable. In fact, your response may affect your career in many ways. Everyone on our team has been working really hard on this over the last few weeks. As simple aS * “Thank you thats very kind of you.” * “Thank you I appreciate the compliment” * “We all put in a lot of effort; thank you for acknowledging our hard work” * … For a longer response, you can also say “I appreciate that” or “you’ve made my day”. Responding to a compliment about a SaaS product. Be Specific. “Thank you, it makes my day to hear that.”, “I really put a lot of thought into this, thank you for noticing.”, “Thank you, I really appreciate you taking the time to express that.”, “Thank you, I am happy to hear you feel that way!”, “It is great to hear you feel that way! If you have a minute, it would make her day to hear how you feel.”, “I would love to take credit, but John is the one responsible for this. However, if he's taking the time to recognize your efforts, he's attempting to be sincere, not to make you feel … Letters and Emails on How to respond to a compliment A good rule to follow is: Don’t compliment someone because you feel you should; compliment them because you feel compelled to let them know how they impact you or others. I really appreciate what you just said.” “It’s nice of you to say that. If your boss gives you a compliment or award -- even though the accolade may be well deserved -- your first instinct might be to dodge the remark or bounce it back. Your boss or coworker catches you off guard with a compliment, and what should be a moment of pride instead sends your mind spinning as you awkwardly navigate how to respond. Acknowledge it, accept it, and respond wholeheartedly. Over the last decade, I have interviewed and surveyed thousands of people to understand what makes a powerful compliment. Acknowledging that someone is being kind to you is a nice way to respond to a compliment. I can’t even imagine all the hours, work, and creativity that went into making that event happen. She has served as a channel manager for various websites and worked in consultation and training. 2 Over time, answering these questions will become second nature as you begin to master the art of giving and receiving powerful compliments. 5) Dear boss… thanks for putting the needs of your employees ahead of those of the company and your own. If you brush off the compliment, you devalue their opinion. Agree to cross-train in other areas of your organization to enhance your skills and abilities. For example. At times, you may feel inclined to “out-compliment” or downplay your work, especially when a compliment comes from someone you respect and … Do not ignore this. Convey your thanks via an email or in person. One of my earliest research, published as “What to Do When Praise Makes You Uncomfortable,” revealed that although the number one thing people associate with being recognized is feeling valued (88%), nearly 70% of people associated embarrassment or discomfort with the process of both giving and receiving.Although compliments should be a positive experience — and most of the time they are — in my research, I have found the process of giving and receiving compliments often brings up a lot of anxiety for everyone involved. Showing gratitude to your boss through a handwritten note or even an email is the best way to show appreciation.An elegantly worded thank you note can make anyone’s day. If you receive a word of thanks, it is because you have done a job that is worthy of recognition. So, when you receive a compliment, believe it, and take it for what it is: A verbal pat on the back. We love that you love us :) To respond to a thank you email, let them know you appreciate the sentiment by writing something like “You’re welcome” or “I appreciate your note.” If you’re answering a work colleague, tell them that you enjoyed doing the task they’re thanking you … If a lot of your communication with your boss is by texting, try to treat it how you would in direct personal communication. 75+ Team Building Activities for Remote Teams – Simple Ways to Build Trust, Strengthen Communication, and Laugh Together from Afar. It is important to keep in mind that our habitual responses to compliments have been developed throughout our lives and, as with any habit, it will take effort and practice to change. In the same way that it’s useful to always be specific when providing feedback, know that you don’t need to ask for a detailed explanation of what warranted the compliment. The most important part of any compliment is that your intention is authentic. In my research, I found that people rarely want to be recognized for the result, but instead, the process and effort that went into producing the result. When that happens, they say something self-deprecating, minimizing what they’re being complimented about instead of being able to accept the compliment. Consider sharing how their leadership impacts the team, their work impacts the company’s results, or how their attitude impacts the team environment. Actually, Amanda is the one behind this project. This is also a good, general response to a compliment, so you can use it whether it’s about your personality, appearance, or even work and successes. Keep in mind that there's a difference between humility and self-sabotage. If you receive thanks, return the gratitude. If you receive a formal compliment for work or ethics make sure you mail them and thank them for their kind gesture, if it’s an informal mail, you must also write 2-3 lines in appreciation of that person and if its a formal one , you must all thank them for providing such a working culture. The less said, the better. On my last team, I never wanted to share ideas for fear of my boss shooting them down. On the receiving end, people feel they don’t deserve it, question the giver’s intentions, or worry that they won’t be able to produce the same result in the future. Here are a few ways to respond to a compliment: “Thank you, it makes my day to hear that.” “I really put a lot of thought into this, thank you for noticing.” When you are inauthentic in your recognition, people may think you are inauthentic in other areas as well. and Ph.D. Caiaimage/Sam Edwards/Caiaimage/GettyImages. Our team is hard at work trying to continuously improve our product to help our customers achieve their goals and it’s always rewarding to hear kind words. When we share, it is important to give details and examples to help the person comprehend the context of our remarks. While worrying about losing your job is very stressful , receiving a bad performance review can also be very productive, as long as you respond appropriately. All rights reserved. Here are a few tips on how to give a powerful compliment: Be Authentic. I found that the most memorable and impactful messages are authentic and specific, focusing on the process they went through to produce it. A simple, “I appreciate the acknowledgment for the time I spent on that project. Thank you,” will do. Just listen carefully and gulp it down at go. Remember to smile and make eye contact with the person who complimented you as you thank them. When a compliment comes in the form of an email, know how to respond accordingly. Harvard Business Review: How to Give a Meaningful Thank You, Law Practice Management Advisor: How to Accept and Then Leverage Compliments From Your Boss, Forbes: Just Say Thanks Why Accepting Compliments is Good for Your Career. Say “thank you.” Nothing else. “Thank you for taking notes in the meeting.” (It’s my job, why are you recognizing me?). Reader T has a great question about compliments at work. 5. Yet, these seemingly positive interactions can be surprisingly tricky to navigate for both giver and receiver alike. If the compliment takes place in person, a simple, “Thank you” can suffice. Who have you been meaning to compliment? It breaks … Over the next week, pay attention to how you and others react to compliments and try using some of the responses above. Share the Impact. 6) I won’t suck up to you by lying and saying that you are perfect in every way. Since day one, I watched how you encouraged all of us to speak up and share ideas, and I felt comfortable to take risks. Take the time to get up from your desk, stop by your boss’ office and let her know that you appreciate the comment. Volunteer to participate on a new project or find out whether your organization offers training or reimbursement for education. Nothing feels better than a "thank you" note, particularly when it comes from the boss. Smile … Keep up the good work") whereas a few are much more detailed (to the point of subtly suggesting different responsibilities/a promotion in the indefinite future). The best way to respond to the kind words from a boss or coworker is to simply say “Thank you,” and if the compliment made a difference, let the person know. Managers and executives may not always have time to relay words of appreciation to their staff members. Also remember to never respond right away, especially if you are driven by your emotions. The simplest way to respond to a compliment is to say “thank you”. Such reciprocity helps to build an atmosphere of camaraderie and teamwork. When we compliment someone, we are actually sharing how what they did impacted us. Job and life advice for young professionals. Thank you.”. Knowing how to compliment and recognize others is a fundamental leadership skill. Daily work occurrences call for us to write thank you messages for boss but most of us fail to express it in a proper manner. Thank you for everything you did behind the scenes on this project.”, “Jane, I wanted to let you know I really appreciate how you lead our team. Thank you.”. After a few weeks, you may find that it is not that hard to just say, thank you! Yet, research shows that many people feel anxiety over the idea of exchanging compliments, worrying of coming off as a kiss-up or having their compliment misinterpreted. The harder part, of course, is learning exactly what to say. Your employer may not remember the “thank you” that you received four, five or six months ago. I have found there are methods of both giving and receiving a compliment that helps cut through some of these barriers and make the experience more comfortable and trust-building. Thank you, but I probably could have done better. Dear Maureen, Thank you so much for your feedback, you made our day! If your intention is not genuine, neither is your compliment. When someone is complimenting you, they are actually sharing how what you did impacted them. That makes me feel great to know that you feel that way," or “Thank you, I appreciate the compliment,” is a perfectly acceptable way to respond. Rose holds a B.S. I’m confused as to whether this is a compliment you simply say thank you to, or is there more we should add? Hana Ayoub, a New York-based executive coach, says that asking a follow-up question after receiving positive feedback is key. The proper response to any compliment is a simple “thank you”. Her work has appeared in "ADDitude," "Curl," "Diabetes Alternatives," "Fitness," the "Healing Path" and more. Harvard Business Publishing is an affiliate of Harvard Business School. Although our reactions to compliments may be complicated, how we respond is not. Managers and executives may not always have time to relay words of appreciation to their staff members. Rather than a verbal rebuke (“It was really nothing...” or, “No, it was nothing, stop!”), respond with sincere gratitude for the kind words of praise. While it may seem counterintuitive, in order to get better at giving compliments we must first get better at receiving them. You did a good job, someone is acknowledging you for it, and you’re receiving an honor that’s well-deserved. I really enjoy working for you and feel like I am growing every day. When you spend most of your time speaking to each other directly, there is less of a need to respond to the occasional email or text every time unless you feel it is important to acknowledge receiving the message. These scenarios and suggestions can help anyone practice the art of giving and receiving compliments. A private email from your boss deserves a thoughtful response that should also remain private. However, few of us know how to do it effectively.